happy birthday dad
Jay Horsman *
My dad kept a photo album by his favorite chair in the living room. Unlike other family albums it was not kept in chronological order. In it were selected pictures particularly meaningful to him. There were shots of my brothers, sisters and me, my mother, grandchildren, his sisters, cousins and friends. But what filled most pages were the photographs of animals he had known. A lifetime compilation of dogs, horses and cows.
An avid outdoorsman, my father left "crowded" California for Wyoming in the 1940's to become a cattle rancher. Many years later I was born (the youngest of six) and soon our family moved to Arizona. He continued ranching in addition to cotton farming. He woke up before sunrise and his days were long. I've been told his lifelong love of horses was shared by his father and paternal grandfather, both who had passed on long before my time.
One day my aunt Gloria found herself in a pasture with my dad, several feet behind him. She turned and noticed a cranky bull walking up to her. Nervous, she called out, "Jay, what should I do here? He is BIG!" His reply, "Scratch him behind the ears, he likes that." It did the trick.
The days he spent at cattle auctions weren't his favorite and while our family was far from vegetarian, none of his cattle ever ended up on our dinner plates. When eventually I did become a vegetarian he supported me in my efforts without question.
My father experienced the loss of many loved ones, beginning with his parents at an early age. He wasn't religious but I think he'd allow me to say he found solace in nature. Though I'm not sure solace is even the right word. He came alive in nature, the way a plant perks up when watered. I think of him many times throughout a day. He is the centerpiece of my most tangible memories. From him I inherited my love of the outdoors, animals, art, music, and books. Probably my distaste for crowds too.
He also kept a poem in that photo album. I remembered it at the time of his passing, over twelve years ago, and removed it to be read at his funeral.
The End is the Beginning
by Skinny Rowland
Old friends live on in my memory, as do the days of long ago,
And as I grow older and feebler, so do those memories grow.
The laughter and voices grow clearer, the faces seem to draw near.
And I know that I am again closer, to the ones I once held so dear.
Old friends have gone on before me, to a place where again we shall meet
When life has made its full circle, and our stay here on earth is complete.
Visions of heaven may differ, as to what each may have in his mind,
But I'm sure that God has arranged it, so it's what each expected to find.
So should a child be taken, don't feel he's been taken away.
He was just a part of another one's heaven, as he will be of yours one day.
Should the time come for a friend to leave you, and you feel that fate is unkind,
Just remember your heaven includes him, and you are not that far behind.
So weep if you will at misfortunes, as you smile when things go your way,
When you ask the Lord's help with your troubles,
remember the good when you pray.
For life here on earth is the schooling, and just a fraction at best
Of all ahead which awaits you, if you succeed in passing the test.
So love and be loved by many, make each person your friend,
For the life here on earth is short, and the real life begins at its end.
* Portrait collage by Michelle Caplan
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Reader Comments (5)
Dearest Jennifer~ This is such heartfelt and moving tribute to your Father. I see where that gentle yet strong spirit of yours was born from and that the love of and for all life runs deep in your blood. xoxo Stephanie
a wonderful honorary , your life is a living tribute to your father. I love the story about the bull and the photo collage is great . this truly touched my heart. love. m
The collage is simply beautiful.
I lost my father at an early age. For some reason, I was thinking about him yesterday and how he had taught me so much in the short time we were together. Your dad sounds like an amazing man, too. Peace.
What a great collage.
I can feel your love for him in your words. He sounds like a wonderful man and father.
(I learned my dislike for crowds from my dad as well, though each of their reasons might be different. :)
a heartfelt thank you for your kind comments here.