self portrait *

I am the keeper of fragile things

and I have kept of you 

what is indisolvable.

- Anais Nin

 * july of my fortieth year

afternoon tea (you are cordially invited)

There are few hours in life more agreeable

than the hour dedicated

to the ceremony known as afternoon tea. 

- Henry James

practicing

I am now a girl with a hula hoop. I wouldn't go so far as to call myself a hooper, but I'd be happy to get there. I've been spinning inside summer; making the most of the sunshine and extended daylight with sandy feet, endless glasses of ginger-coconut iced tea on the front steps, a magazine in hand and the sounds of Mumford & Sons wafting through the screen door.

There's an emotional whirling happening too. We've been readying a home to sell. A charming house we bought when we first arrived in Los Angeles six years ago. It is time to let it go. Being there shuffles me into the deck of the past somewhere between nostalgia and an emotion yet unidentified. I am sitting with it, letting it surface with teary eyes. I'm taking those cleansing breaths that are supposed to alleviate moments of anxiety. I suspect I've touched on shards of loss that have been smoothed over by time but are still razory when pressed closely into the palm of your hand. This home holds memories of three loved ones who lived nearby and have since departed. It holds memories of the dalmatian that rocked our world. It holds memories of visits with my mother who is no longer able to travel. I recognize we hold these memories too, that they will not be lost. At about the same time we moved here I found the words of Pema Chodron, encouraging me to learn to welcome the present moment as though I had invited it. This has been my practice. Sometimes I forget but then, like razory shards of loss, I remember.

enjoying the comfort of home

It has felt so good to cozy back into the comfort of home. A few weeks ago Bud installed window boxes I quickly filled with colored impatiens that cheer me at the door. Afternoon sunlight forms rainbow spectrums on the living room walls and floors. Summer farmers' markets are filling our plates with colorful veggies for dinners to be enjoyed outdoors in the ocean breeze. Camping is on my mind or at least a day trip up the coast to Zuma beach in Gypsy, our '78 VW camperbus, while Bud surfs and Rave and I lounge in sunbeams and shade.

What are your favorite comforts these days?

* I am honored to have a guest post over at The Word Cellar today. Thanks Jenna!

i've been in good company (part 2)

Unpacked sweaters, scarves and boots from Oregon trip

Packed sundresses and sandals for a visit to the 113 degree Arizona desert 

Greeted at the airport by one of my brothers, a much adored niece (I first became an aunt at age 7) and two superfantastic and equally adored great-nieces, ages 10 and 6

Lovingly welcomed into my mother's embrace and well air conditioned childhood home

Fed Cheerios to the peacock (by request)

Made it through a brief power outage without excessive panic  (no air conditioning + intense heat = bit of fret)

Realized I forgot my swimsuit

Introduced my great-nieces to Punky Brewster (big fans)

Road trip to Eegee's (an Arizona thing) where I went with half lemon, half pina colada (if you're familiar)

Admitted to myself I wasn't really going to use the running shoes I packed 

Assisted in sewing paper heart banners to string throughout the house

Said goodbye too soon